Knees wobbly, thoughts racing, I step out of my car and take a deep breath of the crisp September air. As I walk through the city park, the vibrant leaves rustling above, doubts echo loudly in my mind. “Am I too early? Why am I always too early? What am I even doing here? Will this even work?” My therapy journey began that day, with shaky steps along the river’s edge, heading to my first appointment with a new therapist.

What unfolded changed my perspective on something I’d long overlooked: my needs.

I left the session with a surprising assignment: “Pause before responding and ask yourself, ‘What do I need?’”

At first, I resisted. Me? I’ve always been independent; I don’t need anyone or anything. Yet, as I dug deeper, I realized I had been ignoring my needs—pushing them aside in the name of being self-sufficient. Sound familiar?

The truth is, every single one of us has needs. They’re hardwired into our biology, emotions, and spirit. Ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear; it just leaves us feeling restless, disconnected, or even unwell. When our needs are met, we thrive. When they’re ignored, our emotions signal us—often loudly—that something’s off.

Want to start feeling better? Start with learning about your needs and embracing them as a fundamental part of who you are.

Activity to get started:

1. Review a Needs Wheel above (or similar resource) and list the ones that resonate with you most
2. Pick one need that stands out and reflect:

• How do you feel when this need is met? What activities bring this feeling?
• How do you feel when this need isn’t met? What’s happening in those moments?
  

Before running off to place blame for your unmet needs consider:

• Can I meet this need myself?
• Have I communicated this need clearly to others?
• Am I ready to let go of judgment or stories around this need to advocate for myself?

In community class, we’re exploring the Yamas and Niyamas, the foundational ethics of yoga, these values can serve as a compass and an anchor on our journey of self-exploration. As you approach understanding and communicating your personal needs effectively, you can choose to practice ahimsa (non-violence) cultivating kindness, compassion, and intentionality toward ourselves and others.

Here are some approaches to embody ahimsa in this process:

• Recognize Needs Without Judgment: Acknowledge your personal needs without labeling them as "selfish" or "wrong." See needs as natural forms of non-violence toward yourself.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of criticizing yourself for having unmet needs, approach them with curiosity and gentleness.

Understanding your needs isn’t just about self-discovery; it’s about living in alignment with your values and creating space for authentic connection. How we can be non-violent in our communication with others:

• Honor Boundaries: Respect your own limits and be honest about them. Overextending yourself leads to harm.
• Express Needs Clearly and Kindly: Instead of accusatory language, frame your feelings and needs thoughtfully. For example: “When I feel unheard, I get frustrated because I need to feel understood.”
• Listen Actively: Hear the other person’s response with openness, ensuring mutual understanding before reacting.

"Our feelings are like toddlers," she said that day, "mostly they just want to be seen and acknowledged." When strong feelings bubble up, pause, acknowledge them, and ask, “What do I need right now?” This simple question is a cornerstone of self-care and emotional wellness.

Whenever you're ready, Home Yoga Therapy can help you in 3 ways:

1. Join the Home + Yoga Community 3 live online yoga classes each week, access to library of recorded practices, ALIGN Moon Rituals, and personalized support.
2. Yoga Therapy thoughtful discussions and mindful practices will foster change, balance, and well-being in body, mind, and spirit.
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